THE MAKING OF A MASTER CRIMINAL

As I approached the front door of the First Bank of Bit 0' Heaven, it sensed my presence and swung open with an automatic welcome. I pulled the large handgun from my bag, pointed it at the teller, and growled out my command:
"Your money or your life! Fill this bag with bucks, large denominations, and do it now!" As I did this, I managed to hit the alarm button with my elbow. There are some days when you have to do everything for yourself.
By the time the third bag was full, and I was staggering toward the door with my loot, the police began to appear.
"Don't shoot," I squeaked. With real fear because most of them didn't look too bright. Now you might find all of this a little puzzling-if so, I do not blame you. It is one thing to hold up a bank, another thing still to do it in such a manner that you are sure to be caught. Why, you might ask, he so foolish?
I'll be happy to tell you. To understand my motives, you'll have to understand what life is like on this planet-what my life has been like. Let me explain....